What 2009 Taught Me

Dahil bittersweet ang 2009, gusto ko lang i-share ang mga natutunan ko this year. Yung iba dyan kahit nung ibang taon eh na-encounter ko na, nabigyan lang ng ibang meaning this year. Yung iba rin dyan malamang natutunan din ng ibang tao. Sana mas marami pa akong ma-realize at mapulot na lessons sa 2010.

1) Almost everything and everyone will change. It’s wiser to know how and when to adjust and accept such change(s) than to complain about it.

2) In this world, we never really understand things. We just get used to them.

3) It’s next to impossible to please everyone. Basta alam mong wala kang naaapakang tao at hindi ka nakakasakit ng damdamin directly, go go go.

4) A title or a label is not the prerequisite to something that you wish to do or wish to be. You don’t need to be elected into public office to help other people. You don’t need to be a friend to reach out. You don’t need to be a lover/girlfriend to show love–basta manglandi ka lang, go na! Hahaha.

5) Little things (gestures, winks, smileys etc) count.

6) People who are close to you will always have weird, weird ways of surprising you. (Such surprises can either be good or bad, or both. Haha.)

7) Not everyone you know will be glad when they hear that you’re successful or that you’re happy. Work harder, strive to be even more successful, be happier and watch them turn green with envy. Hahaha.

Sometimes it’s enough to just let nature run its course. If things are bound to happen, they eventually will.

9) Waiting won’t kill you.

10) Honesty is the best policy. But not everyone can be the best. Hahaha.

11) Love the life you live and live the life you love. (From Day Off, QTV 11.)

12) Mas masarap gumala ng walang paalam at wala masyadong plano. There’s a certain fun in receiving angry text messages from your parents. I-freeze sa utak ang mga mukha nila pag-uwi after two days ng spontaneous overnight brouhaha.

13) Do not add your students aged 15 and below in Facebook kung gusto mong tumagal pa ang career mo.

14) Alcohol is the universal solvent.

15) Food is the thing that binds us all. Love din pala pwede.

16) When life gives you lemons, squirt lemonade into the eyes of your enemies. Add salt.

17) Love moves. In mysterious ways.

18) The most peaceful place on earth is inside the church. Any church will do.

19) Pick a journal that’s not too big or heavy to be in your bag. Be sure that it’s not too small for all your excess emotional baggage, though.

20) There’s two sides with leaving: who’s left and who chose to leave. Pareho yang mahirap at masakit.

21) Your relatives are your mandatory friends.

22) Ang panglalandi at pakikipaglandian ay parang Globe Unlitxt na walang expiration, walang bayad at walang registration required. Pwedeng-pwede rin syang ituloy hanggang 2010.

Thank you 2009!

Shine shine 2009

In a few hours, 2009 will be a thing of the past and this would be the perfect time for me to join the bandwagon and post something cheesy about the year that has been. Hindi ko maisip na kakayanin pala ng bangs ko ang 2009. Ang dami-daming close encounters with giving up. Ang daming first hand experience with kasabawan. But then at the end of it all, you’ll realize that things will achieve a certain balance in terms of the emotions that they are bundled with. Some things and some people will make you sad and they’ll make everything harder for you. Pero merong babawi sa lahat ng hirap at sakit, tapos ok na ulit. I don’t intend to enumerate every single smile or heartache that I’ve had this 2009. That won’t be necessary naman eh.

I’m simply thankful for a beautiful year. Thank you thank you thank you 2009. I’m waaaaay excited for 2010 na!

Happy New Year everyone!

Top 2

I’ve been uploading pictures for hours now at kating-kati na kong pagalitan ang Bayantel for the nth time, hindi kasi decent ang connection. Parang lalakeng tinamaan ng katorpehan sa bagal ang pag-u-upload anobeh. Hoho. I have more than a thousand pictures to upload pa naman sana, kaya lang hindi kakayanin. Sana naman may New Year’s resolution din ang DSL connection namin dito sa bahay.

Anyway, hindi naman yan ang point ng entry na ito. Hoho.

Dapat isang madramang year ender blog entry ang nandito ngayon, but my spontaneity kicked in and I ditched my plan. (I always do. Haha.) I’ve uploaded around one-third of the total pictures that I have to, so technically ay hindi naman sayang ang hapon ko. Haha. Pero dahil nakatunganga lang ako dito sa harap ng computer, parang wala akong ginagawa. Boo.

Hindi pa rin yan ang point ng entry ko. Haha. Ang gulo. (Dapat ayusin ko na yan sa 2010. Whoooo. Go me.)

Naalala ko isang Friday, I went to UP Manila tapos nag-lunch kami ni Dremon sa Sbarro. I had a meeting nun somewhere nung umaga. Something something. Nag-Haagen Dazs pa kami after, share sa isang cup. Haha mahal eh!

After lunch sa Robinson’s, balik kami ng UP Manila. (AYYY naalala ko na!) This was during the time na brown out sa UPM dahil may inaayos dun sa poste. Anyway, ayun nga, balik ng UPM. I think Dremon just paid for his application para sa NMAT then. Basta pinakita nya sakin nung bumalik kami sa office nya eh. Tapos yung paper na pinakita nya, sabi nya akin na lang daw yun dahil photocopy lang naman daw yun. At dahil libre, kinuha ko naman. Wheeee.

The NMAT results were released just a couple of minutes ago and the site requires the application number of the person who took the NMAT; hindi sya parang isang malaking bulletin board where scores are posted beside the examinees’ names at free for all na tingnan.

Yung binigay ni Dremon sa aking paper noon eh copy ng NMAT Identification Form nya. Syempre nandun ang NMAT Identification Number nya diba. AT WHOOOOOOOOOOOO! (Mas malala pa kanina ang tili ko promise. Haha.)

Parang ako yung nag-NMAT ah. Wheeeeeeee. I was hoping sana na the results would be released while we were in Baguio, sabi nya kasi noon baka mapa-aga yung paglabas. Mas ma-fi-feel sana ni Dremon kung gaano ako ka-proud. Wheeeeeeee.

Dremonnnnnnnnn libre! >:D< >:D< >:D< Toldcha your smile will take you places. I’m prouddayou beybeh. >:D<

Puro smiley at hug. Wheeee. Hanggang ngayon sabaw na sabaw pa rin ako. Hahaha. Wheeee. I love this kind of high. Hahaha.

Wish Listtttt :)

Christmas is for kids. At dahil kid at heart naman ako, umaasa akong makakarating sa mga tamang tao ang wish list na ito para naman mag-materialize. Hahaha.

1) DSLR bag. (Hindi ko naman gusto yung super ganda talaga at super mahal, basta mas matino sya sa 88-peso padded bag na pinaglalagyan ko ng camera ko ngayon. Ay ay, pero pwede rin yung mahal. Haha. Hindi naman ako tatanggi.)

2) Silicone spatula for cooking. (Hindi kelangang mahal. Basta matibay at magagamit ko sya sa mga gusto kong gawin sa kitchen. Wheeee.)

3) Moleskine 2010 Planner. (YEAH BABY. Namamahalan ako eh. Pero mas mura sya sa Starbucks planner. Hahaha. Kaya lang, ilang years ko na ring kinokolekta ang Starbucks planner, kaya parang nakakapanghinayang naman kung ngayon pa ko titigil. Huuuu. Ewan. Bukas magkaka-alaman. Hahaha. Moody ako eh. Bahala na.)

4) Black or gray socks. (Yung maiksi lang at hindi masyadong manipis. For running ito. Yeah, para ma-inspire hahaha. Hindi ko masyadong feel yung mga ma-design na socks kasi super nipis nila eh.)

5) Jacket na cute at pwede sa kahit na anong klaseng look. (I’ve been looking for the perfect jacket since the -ber months started pero hanggang ngayon epic failure pa rin ang paghahanap ko. Help naman. Hahaha.)

6) Extra batter para sa Nikon D60. (Wala lang. Gusto ko ng extra battery para walang sawa ang pagpipicture. Hahaha.)

7) Pilot V5 Sign Pen na red, green at violet. (Yan na kasi ang official pen ko ngayon. Hahaha. Wheee. Wala lang.)

8) Remote Control para sa Nikon D60. (Yuh para sa anak ko na naman. Hahaha. Wala lang, sabaw si nanay, pagbigyan.)

9) Charles & Keith Gift Certificates. (Kahit worth P 200 lang, tatalon na yung puso ko nyan. Hahaha. Mababaw lang naman kaligayahan ko eh. Konting tulong lang para makabili ng mga simpleng luho sa buhay, masaya na ko. Hahaha.)

10) Letters or cards na may letters. (Namimiss ko nang makatanggap ng letter eh. Wala lang. Tinago ko nga yung green paper na pinambalot ni Dremon sa birthday gift nya sakin kasi may short message dun eh. Hahaha. Na-touch na ko dun! See. Mababaw.)

11) Citre Shine Anti-Frizz Hair Serum. (Ewan ko kung yan talaga ang buong name nya. Basta yung leave-on ng Citre Shine para sa mga buhok na ‘untouched’. Hahaha. Wheeee.)

12) Foot scrub. (Basta yung para sa ikagaganda at ikaka-relax ng paa. Puro ako kamay products eh, ang fun kasi gamitin. Wheeee. Yung para sa feet naman ang kulang. Wheeee.)

13) Kiss at hug at time with friends. (Ito na, ito na, ito na ang pinakagusto ko sa lahat. Wala lang. I wanna see people more. Wheeee. It’d be nice kung sasamantalahin yung ‘vacation’ para makipagkita sa mga tao. Come on friends! Magparamdam kayoooooo.)

14) iPod dock!! (Hahaha pahabol lang ito. Bigla kong naalala. Wheeee. Wala lang. Gusto ko eh.)

15) BOOKS BOOKS BOOKS! (I love reading. Wala lang. Hindi ako choosy sa book. Babasahin ko yan kahit ano pa yan. Yung Son of a Witch pala, pwede na yun. Lagi kong nakakalimutang bilhin yun eh. Wheeee.)

Draft # 2

“Tara, let’s be in love na.”

Send to +639xxxxxxxxx

Whooooo parang ang sarap mag-unli tapos mang-flood ng ganyang text. (Yeah sabaw pa rin. Wala munang pakelamanan. Hahaha.)

Iba na ang panahon ngayon

Dahil iba na ang panahon ngayon, sa Facebook na ako inaaway ng kapatid ko. She said something that I didn’t like and so I started making icicles hang from her ears. Then she posted “It’s not always about your point of view” as her Facebook status, kaya eto ako, sa blog sasagot. Ayoko ngang ipangalandakan sa Facebook social solar system na na-offend ako sa sinabi nya. Sige kunyari Facebook na lang din ‘to, dito na lang ako sasagot.

Dyosaimma is talking to you, lesser-biatch. It’s also NOT ALWAYS about your point of view. You’re too quick to judge nearly everything that I do. You love judging my friends (I love defending them anyway, thank you very much); you love judging the things that I choose to do.  I AM NOT perfect, mas lalong hindi ka rin naman perfect, so wag kang umasang lahat ng ginagawa ko ay tungkol at para sayo.

Ano ba ‘to lalo akong naiinis. Hahaha. Dibale kebs na lang. Bahala na si Batman kung anong kahihinatnan. Oh well towel. Basta ang alam ko, masaya ako dahil ang UP Lantern Parade at Miss Eng’g ay umaabot naman pala ng Pampanga. Last year nasa Tagaytay sya eh. This year lumipat naman sa north. Wheeee.

Pictures + kwento to follow. (Pag hindi na ako wasak. Hahaha. Comatose na comatose pa rin ako hanggang ngayon eh. Naman.)

Unfair ka kid

Sideline ko ang pagiging isang tutor. To be really honest, I have no idea how I managed to still be one after more than three years. Before college, pa-turo-turo lang kunyari ang ginagawa ko and I wasn’t really doing it to earn, wala lang talaga kong magawa nun. Nung nasa UP na ko, I wanted to earn some money na, tsaka gusto ko ring masulit yung vacant periods ko. Tinataboy na ko ng org na gusto kong salihan sa UP Diliman, kaya naisip ko, raraket na lang ako. Parang naging pera ang org mate ko.

In fairness naman ha. I never thought na kaya ko sya. Blank ang utak ko pag kids na ang topic or whenever I’d have to deal with kids noon, hindi ako masyadong ok. Sa mga kapatid ko lang siguro talaga ako ma-alaga. (Actually hindi rin hahaha.) My students’ age range from 6-18. Hindi naman sila ganon karami talaga, pero iba-iba sila ng levels. Ngayon, meron akong prep, grades 1, 3, 5 and 6, 1st year high school at 1st year college. Dati naman kumpleto ko yung high school levels tapos puro boys.

One thing with dealing with kids, or okay, students, is that at the end of the day, kahit na gaano pa katigas ang ulo nila, maiisip mo talagang mga bata lang sila. Meron dyan iiyak pag hindi makuha yung tamang sagot, merong hindi masyadong magalang, merong two weeks bago ma-gets ang slope of a line, meron din namang nang-sha-shatter ng self-esteem. Stressful, masakit sa bangs at nakakakulot ng pilik-mata minsan, pero in a way, fun ang trabaho ko. Lalo na pag mataas yung scores sa exams o kaya ang ganda ng performance ng mga bata, iba yung feeling.

Oh well. Hindi naman sa sinasabi kong kaya ko na talagang i-handle ang mga bata in general. Actually nawindang pa nga ako last week eh. Kasi ganito yan: I have one student na hindi na nagpapa-tutor sa akin. Ayaw na nya kasi, so stop na muna. Sa akin, ok lang yan. Tsaka eventually, students will have to find a way to make it on their own naman diba. Anong kaso? Last week narinig ko sa isang student ko, na classmate ng batang umalis, na sinabi sa kanya nitong umalis na bata na the reason why hindi na sya nagpapaturo sa akin is because wala naman akong ginagawa.

YEZ. Pumilantik lahat ng eyelashes ko dito. Just when I thought na nauuna ang puberty kesa sa pagtubo ng sungay at paglabas ng buntot, ayan, nasampal ako. Umabot sa exosphere ang kilay ko when I heard this. Yung nagsabi sa akin nyan ay isa sa mga pinaka-honest na batang nakilala ko ever, pero hindi ko sinasabing sobrang naniniwala ako. Hindi naman kasi ako sure kung yun nga yung exact words nung student na umalis diba. Ang alam ko lang, hindi sinungaling yung batang nagsabi sa akin nyan. Wala lang. Ngayon, parang gusto ko lang talagang sindakin yung batang umalis, para lang malaman nya kung anong ibig sabihin ng word na “unfair”. Tsaka para malaman na rin nyang ang pagiging creative writer ay sa fiction stories, TV at movies lang na-a-appreciate.

Naisip ko tuloy bigla kung ano nga bang mga ginawa namin ni batang umalis. Binigyan ko sya ng maraming exercises. Nagsagot kami ng mga home work. Nag-long division kami at napa-intindi ko naman sa kanya yun. Nalunod sya sa linking at helping verbs. Boo. Basta hindi ko maalala yung time na tumunganga lang kaming dalawa.

So ayan. Naglalabas lang ako ng sama ng loob. Sana lang fair. Tsaka sana lang din eh ma-realize ng batang yun na lahat ng kumakalaban sa akin ay sumasara ang butas ng pwet.

Hahaha. Napaka-pathetic ko. Bata na ang inaaway ko. (EHHHH nauna sya eh!) At kaka-click ko lang ng “IGNORE” sa Facebook. Yuh. Hindi tayo friends. Hindi kita masyadong bati. Too bad.

And I quote

“Hindi naman sa pagod na ang puso ko–naiinip lang.” (Frias, 2009)

Oo, kino-quote ko ang sarili ko. I like being self-absorbed that way. And it’s not that I’m bored-bored with my life (come on I’m so busy hahaha). Hindi ako, as in 100% ako ang bored. Ang puso ko lang.

The most loser part of it all is the fact that I know that I can actually do something to kill the boredom and rip it into pieces for good, pero hindi ko ginagawa.

Whoooo. Gusto kong malasing, as in lasing sa ice-cold beer. Nakakainis naman kasi, lagi na lang puso ko ang lasing.

Hahahaha ayoko na mag-type, masyado na kong maraming sinasabi.

Chasing chasing pavements

“Should I give up or should I just keep on chasing pavements even if it leads nowhere?” – Adele, Chasing Pavements

Dear Big,

Should I give up or should I just keep on chasing pavements even if it leads nowhere? Would it be a waste even if I knew my place? Should I leave it there? Should I give up?

Wait. I don’t f*cking know where I am. Let me know. I’ll wait.

***

P001(x,y)

Since hindi naman tayo close, I think keri lang na mainis ako sayo. Kahit nung una pa lang naman eh mabigat na loob ko sayo eh. It’s not that may ginawa kang masama or anything, basta ang alam ko lang, hindi kita feel. More often than not, pag hindi ko feel ang isang tao sa umpisa pa lang, I will later learn na there really is nothing great about that person. Parang technically, may basis ang pagka-bigat ng loob ko sa taong yun.

That applies to you, earthling.

I’m really not feeling guilty about this whole not-liking-you thing. I’m not new to this kind of game and I’m not boring when it comes to bitch tactics either, so you’re in for a really sweet ride.

Hindi tayo close okay. Lulugar ka, ok? Wag kang magtatangkang lumapit, baka hindi mo kayanin ang mga ibabato ko sayo. You have no idea what I’m capable of.

Thanks huggggggs.